The Reason Is
by Sweet And Deadly
Summary: Just for one second Ichigo looked out the window.. Just for one second.. And saw a boy in her age on his skateboard, with sparkling eyes and a happy smile.. The second after that he passed the window and was out of her sight...
1. My reason is

**Hello people, please be nice. This is my first time posting a story for this account, I hope you will review and give me basically any advice that could help me with my story writing. Thank you for showing interest for my story :) Based of a song ^^**

**/Nem A.K.A not girly at all & Roses Thorns Will Scar You**

**The Reason is**

Ichigo stumbled through the hall. Her beautiful brown eyes was bloodshot and her cheeks was all wet and red as well. Through her sobs she was muttering about how much she had to do and how sorry she felt for herself.

Living in the big and lonely house in the middle of nothing was harder than she thought it would be and the pressure she always had torn her apart. She always had something to do and when she forgot about something it was a living hell to take care of it later.

Now you probably wonder why a 13 year old and insecure girl named Ichigo had to live all on her own. The reason she is all alone is because 6 months ago her parents went away on a trip together with her grandparents to the sea. No one knows why, but her parents never returned from that trip. She reported them as missing but the police never found anything about their disappearance.

Ichigo was supposed to get adopted, however. She refused and told them could take care of herself on her own. But, she didn't know how wrong she had.

The bills had to get payed and to pay the bills she needed to get a job where she could earn enough money for the bills, food and having some money left that she could buy detergent. Taking care of herself was way harder than she imagined it would ever be.

As more of her tears ran down her cheeks, she rise her hand and wiped them away. But there was no use. They just kept falling, all those tears who shouldn't be there anymore. It was unbelievable that after 6 months of crying she still had tears left to keep crying. The tears just kept on falling, they never stopped. With those tears who had fallen, she swore she could fill a river. But, what could she do about all that crying? She had no reason to live, nor to stop crying and smile instead. Normally Ichigo was a happy and positive person, but the disappearance of her family changed her. She never did anything anymore, never brushed her hair, which made it look like a bush. However, she brushed her teeth and took a shower all the time. If she didn't she would put other people through a lot of horrible smell.

After a while her tears finally stopped falling and she went downstairs to get some breakfast. Just for one second she looked out the window, just for one second, and saw a boy in her age on his skateboard, with sparkling eyes and a happy smile. The second after that he passed the window and was out of her sight.

Ichigo gasped, that was the first time she had ever seen somebody so happy and with such joy of living. His sparkling amber eyes and happy smile was stuck inside of her mind. How come somebody could be so happy and sparkling in this world? Was it really worth living?

She was staring out the window, all frozen.

"Wow.." was all that she could say.

Ichigo sat down at her chair still looking out the window. Such.. joy.. Could she be that happy too, one day? Would she get the courage to try? She turned her head and looked at the news paper in front of herself. On the first page it said with big letters: **PLANE CRASH, ALL PASSENGERS DEAD**.

How could people find happiness and something to smile for, when the journalists always wrote about horrible things that happened. Just because it catches someones eyes, but, what would happen if they tried writing something good on the first page? Why would she want to read about people who died? She rather would prefer reading about a little girl or something who's biggest wish got granted, like getting a barbie doll or something. It could be something that silly, just that the little girl got her wish granted.

Ichigo sighed and tightened her fists. There they came again, the tears. She was the little girl she was giving an example of. The barbie doll she got that she wished for so much when she was little, that didn't get into the news paper. Instead a story of someone who tried to kill another one came into the news paper. Sure, she did understand that, however, why only showing people the bad things happening in the world?

Once again she sighed, then a song started playing on the radio.. _The reason by Hoobastank. _

Ichigo listened and then started singing along, with a cracky voice of all the crying.

"_I'm not a perfect person. There's many thing I wish I didn't do.. But I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you.. And so I have to say before I go.. That I just want you to know.._" she only planned to sing a long with the first verse, however, she kept on singing as her voice got stronger. _"I've found a reason for me. To change who I used to be. A reason to start over new. And the reason is you.." _Ichigo smiled through the salty tears who fell down her checks and landed on her lips. "_I'm sorry that I hurt you. It's something I must live with everyday. And all the pain I put you through.. I wish I could take it all away. And be the one who catches all your tears. That's why I need you to hear! I've found a reason for me! To change who I used to be! A reason to start over new. And the reason is you! And the reason is you! And the reason is you!_" she smiled more and kept on singing. "_I'm not a perfect person. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go. That I just want you to know! I've found a reason for me! To change who I used to be! A reason to start over new. And the reason is you! And the reason is you! And the reason is you.. I've found a reason to show. A side of me you didn't know! A reason for all that I do.. And the reason is you.."_

Ichigo smiled while tears falling down her cheeks and wiped them all away. Finally a song playing on the radio had a meaning, the songs playing was usually about boys thinking of girls as sex objects.

"My reason.." she said. "Will be.."


	2. First day

**Thank you so much that you continued reading my story!**

Ichigo walked down the street. It was freezing cold and a white scarf was wrapped tightly around her neck. 1 month she decided to do something about her life. When she saw that boy loving his life and with such sparkling eyes she decided to start school again and start studying. Her parents always wished the best for her, and she didn't want to let them down.  
She looked at the tip of her nose and giggled, it was all red, as well as her cheeks. But not for crying. Because of the cold her cheeks and nose got red.  
Suddenly Ichigo felt something cold touch her cheek and she looked up at the white sky. Billions of white and small snowflakes was falling down from the sky and covering the grey and gloomy asphalt.  
Some snowflakes fell down on her head and then melted, leaving some water on her grey and warm beanie.  
"Ah! You must be Ichigo!" a voice said from behind her.  
Ichigo turned around and looked at the person standing behind her. It was a girl with short brown hair and some kind of blue-greyish eyes. She smiled at Ichigo and then spoke.  
"I'm Miwa Honjo! You're going in my class, nice to meet you, Ichigo-san!"  
"Nice to meet you too, Miwa" Ichigo said with a smile, and really meant what she said.  
"My friend Moe is supposed to be here, but she's sick. That's a shame, because I thought you two could make great friends" Miwa said.  
"It's not like I'm going to go anywhere. After all, I'm in this school now. There will be a lot more chances for her to meet me!" Ichigo said with a smile.  
"Yes, you're right!" Miwa replied and smiled as well.  
"Miwa! Who'cha talking to?" a voice said, this voice however, did not belong to a girl.  
"Ah! Kisshu-kun!" Miwa said when she turned around. "This is Ichigo-san, she's the new girl in our class!"  
The teenage boy walked up to them and looked at Ichigo. Surprisingly, he didn't look like the others, however Ichigo didn't know what it was. He had amber coloured eyes and dark green emerald hair. Ichigo could swear she had seen him before, she just couldn't place where she had. But, suddenly she remembered and gasped.  
"Huh? What's wrong?" Kisshu asked and looked at her with a confused look.  
"You're the guy on the skateboard! The one with the sparkling eyes and joy of living!" Ichigo said, still shocked.  
To her surprise, Kisshu laughed and said:  
"First time hearing that one!"  
"Huh? I said anything weird?" Ichigo looked at Miwa and she shook her head.  
"Kisshu-kun has sparkling eyes and loves living" Miwa replied. "So that's why he's quite the popular boy around all of the girls in this school"  
Kisshu, who was still laughing wiped away a tear that just formed in one of his eyes because of that he was laughing.  
"Oh, I see" Ichigo said with a smile.  
Ichigo could totally see and understand all the girls who liked him. His beautiful amber coloured eyes was sparkling and he also was handsome. In a crowd of a thousands of people you still would find him because there was something with him that made him stick out.  
"Wanna see the classroom?" Miwa asked.  
"Yes, that would be good" Ichigo nodded.  
"Let's go then!" Miwa said and grabbed Ichigo's hand. "Bye, Kisshu-kun!"  
Kisshu waved goodbye as Miwa ran together with Ichigo into the school building. The building was really big, even bigger than Ichigo's house, and she had no clue about how she would know where her classroom was.  
"We have to carry our school bags with us with all the books" Miwa said while running together with Ichigo in the hallway.  
"Oka.." Ichigo was interrupted when suddenly another boy in their age held his hand in front of them.  
"No running in the hallway!" he said.  
"Ao-ya-ma-ku-n. Would you please not tell anyone about running in the hallway? I'm showing the new student around here, so I have to run so we won't be late" Miwa lied to the teenage boy standing in front of her, sure, she was going to show her the classroom, but not the entire school.  
"I guess this is an exception then" the boy said.  
"Thanks!" Miwa said and ran off with Ichigo.  
"HEY!" he yelled after them. "THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN KEEP ON RUNNING HERE!"  
Miwa laughed as she ran with Ichigo towards their classroom.  
Ichigo was surprised about how much happiness there was in a school. Usually everyone says they hate school, but, these people. They were all so happy and cheering. She couldn't help but to smile while running together with Miwa.  
"Here it is!" Miwa said and opened a door.  
Ichigo looked inside, and compared to her kitchen, this room was really big, and her kitchen was the biggest room in her house. It was full of chairs, tables and on shelfs there was a lot of books in different languages.


	3. Like in a Fairy Tale

Years passed and Ichigo was getting better and better in school. She used to get at least a C on all subjects and always did her homework. It had now been 2 years since Ichigo decided to do something about her life and start school.

However, the same day she started school she fell in love. As all of the other girls in school, she fell in love with the handsome and popular boy Kisshu Ikisatashi. She hated the fact that she fell in love with him. Why him? Now it seemed like she was one of all those other girls who would be in heaven if he just talked to her, well, not like it wasn't like that though.

"Hey Ichigo!" Kisshu said as he waited for her outside her door.

The same day Kisshu asked Ichigo where she lived, and since he lived nearby, those two went to school together because it was a lot better if you had company.  
He was leaning with his back to the front door to her house.

Ichigo, who always had her window open since a month ago, stuck her head outside the window next to the front door and waved at him.

"Hi, Kisshu" she said. "Sorry, can you wait another 5 minutes?"  
"Sure, what are you going to do?" he asked.  
"Secret" Ichigo said and closed the window.

Ichigo could hear Kisshu mutter to himself as she went upstairs to the small bathroom next to her bedroom. She opened the door and went inside, as she tripped on a towel and fell down on the floor.  
"Ouch! My nose!" Ichigo complained and touched the tip of her nose that was red. "Maan, I gotta stop being so clumsy"

Later she was running towards the school together with Kisshu. Guess what happened, they both were in a hurry to manage to get to the school in time. It would start in 10 minutes and they still had a long way to go.

"Sorry, Kisshu!" Ichigo said while running.  
"What are you apologizing for?" he asked her, running as well.  
"Huh?" Ichigo looked at him.  
"There's nothing to apologize for" Kisshu stopped and looked at her, smiling.  
"But, we're obviously going to be late.." Ichigo said and looked down at the ground.  
"Hey" he said and she looked up at him as he grabbed her hand. "Let's make the best of it! Better late than never!"

Then he started running again, this time holding her hand. Ichigo tried to keep up with him, but he was the fastest runner in the class and trying to keep up with him was really hard. She thought about what she said while running together with him. _Better late than never.  
_"Hai!" she said with a smile.

They managed to get to school in time, so both was very lucky. This day seemed to be just perfect and really happy. Everyone was cheering and excited, because of one thing. It was probably going to snow that day, and everyone was hoping for a white christmas this year.  
They all was sitting in the classroom, and Ichigo was paying attention to the teacher who was talking about the math they were going to work with. Suddenly Moe touched Ichigo's shoulder and whispered:  
"Ichigo, look outside"

Ichigo turned her head and looked at the window. Her eyes grew wide and she gasped. She was looking at thousands of snowflakes falling down and covering the grown. It looked like a white kingdom, like from a fairy tale. She pressed her face to the window (she's sitting at the chair next to the window) and looked out.

"Ms. Momomiya? What are you doing?" the teacher asked.  
"Look out" Ichigo said, still looking out the window.

Everyone in the class looked out and then they started talking.

"Snow! How lovely!"  
"Let's have a snowball war!"  
"I'm definetely going to win over you this time!"  
"Hah! Just you try it!"

It was so noisy and everyone was yelling at each other about who was the best at throwing snowballs.

"They're pretty noisy, right? Ichigo?"

Ichigo turned her head and looked at Kisshu who was standing behind her and looking out the window. She nodded and looked out the window again. They were the only ones who was quiet in class, because everyone else was excited about the snow and wanted to get outside.

"Go outside! You are too noisy!" their teacher laughed at them as they all jumped up from their chairs and ran outside in the snow.  
"Let's go, Ichigo" Kisshu said to her.  
"Hai!" Ichigo replied cheerful.

Kisshu walked out of the classroom, followed by Ichigo and they put their winter clothes on so they wouldn't get cold. Ichigo giggled at Kisshu because he looked pretty fat in his winter clothes and he pouted when he noticed what she was giggling at. Ichigo quickly apologized, but she couldn't help but to giggle.  
When they got out into the snow, Kisshu threw her down in the snow. Ichigo fell down in the snow, and her face got ice cold. She stood up and Kisshu couldn't help but to laugh when he looked at her face, it was covered by snow.

"You look like a female version of Snow man!" he said while laughing.  
"Hey! That was mean!" Ichigo pouted and pushed him down in the snow.

Kisshu grabbed her arm so he could keep his balance, but the only thing that happened was that she fell down in the snow together with him. Both laughed at each other because their faces was covered with the snow.

"You look funny!" Ichigo said while laughing.  
"You too!" Kisshu said, laughing as well.

_That was the best day ever.. Full of happiness, but as the winter passed by, everything changed.._


	4. Breaking

**Thanks for reading my story!**

_Last year in school. And Ichigo was supposed to do everything perfect this year, nothing at all was allowed to go wrong. She wanted to be something in her life, and do something special. Not just a homeless person by the road, looking for a job. This year, was complicated though. Really complicated._

"Ichigo!" Kisshu yelled at her. "Hurry up! We're going to be late!"

Lately, Kisshu had been so mad. He would turn furious even over just the smallest thing. Ichigo asked him about that once, and he just got really mad at her. People said it was something with his girlfriend, about her thinking he spent too much time with another girl at school, who the girl was anyway, was unknown.  
Ichigo opened her window and looked out of it.

"Go ahead without me" she said.  
"Don't play silly!" Kisshu yelled at her.  
"B-But.." Ichigo always felt smaller, unimportant, whenever Kisshu yelled at her.  
"But what?" Kisshu asked, annoyed.  
"I-I just don't want to get you late for school over and over again.." Ichigo mumbled.  
"Fine" Kisshu muttered and turned around. "See ya at school"

Ichigo looked after him as he walked down the road. She sighed and closed her window. But, she couldn't take her eyes away from Kisshu. Everything had been so fun before, what happened that made him so mad? Lately he always yelled at her and complained about getting late for school because he had to wait for her.  
Honestly, she really didn't want to go to school anymore. Whenever he yelled at her she was near to tears, and crying in front of the class wasn't that tempting. But, since she knew she had to, she took her school bag and walked out of the door. She was making sure Kisshu wasn't around and walked the same way as he did.  
Suddenly it started to rain and Ichigo muttered to herself.

"Great.." she mumbled. "Rain, just what I needed. Can it get gloomier?"

She put her hands in her pockets and kept on walking. Everything around her suddenly felt un important, and she didn't mind her hair getting soaking wet.  
Some tears ran down her cheeks, but because of the rain no one could notice it was teardrops. She sobbed and wiped the tears away with her thumb.

Ichigo could feel it, by the weather and the people she was meeting. This day was going to end in a disaster. No one was as happy as they used to, but there were some attempts to get the get the aura happier.  
Everyone felt the bad aura, even their teacher and she turned around and looked at them all when they were in English class.

"What's wrong with you? You're usually all really cheering!" she said to them all and looked at them, waiting for an answer.

But there was no reply, everyone just looked down in their books and hoped for someone else to answer. Their teacher sighed and shook her head at her gloomy class. Then she pointed at Ichigo.

"Ichigo, you're a cheering one. Please step up and read the text at page number 54" the teacher said.  
"Huh?" Ichigo looked up at her.  
"Come on now" her teacher said, she wasn't accepting anything else but a yes.  
"H-Hai.." Ichigo said.

She picked her book up and stood up. Everyone turned their heads to Ichigo and she didn't like it at all. She was shaking and she bit her lower lip. Then she opened her mouth, just about to say something, but then closed her mouth again. Her breathe was heavy and her heart was beating.

"Come on, read!" an unpatient person in her class said.  
"T-T-The.." Ichigo said lowly with a shaky voice.  
"You can read louder than that, Ichigo" another one said.  
"Come on, I can't hear you" Kisshu said.

Everyone kept complaining about her and it after a while got too much for Ichigo. Tears fell down her cheeks and everyone looked at her shocked. They wanted her to read louder, not cry. Yeah, everyone in the class felt sorry for Ichigo, but there was always somebody who had to joke about everything, even the most serious things.

"Come on, are you a crybaby or what?" the person asked.  
"Hey! Watch what you're saying!" an angry voice said, however Ichigo couldn't hear who it was through her sobs.  
"Ichigo, you wanna go home or something?" the teacher asked.

Ichigo nodded through the sobs and felt really ashamed for crying in front of the whole class. How could she be so silly that she cried in front of the class? Was she that easy to break? Ichigo had always thought she was a tough one and never cried. But right now it felt like she was never going to stop crying.  
_Her parents and grandparents were gone, probably dead  
Everyone complained about her  
Kisshu was angry at her  
And Kisshu had a girlfriend, that wasn't her._

She never thought she would cry for those things. She thought she was done crying for a whole lot of time. But, yet again, she was crying, now in front of her class and teacher. Everyone was going to tease her for that, remind her over and over again. Soon everyone in the whole school was going to know.

"Ichigo.." a voice said and tried to put the her/his hand on her shoulder.  
"No!" Ichigo slapped the hand and then ran off.  
"ICHIGO!"

Ichigo didn't care about the people yelling her name. She ran through the hallway, down on the road and just kept on running. She didn't care about where she would end up. She could get lost into a forest where no one would ever find her. But, she decided to run to her house and lock her inside of it, not letting a single person into the house. Not anyone at all.

**Weeks later**

It had gone weeks since Ichigo broke down in front of the class. She was back as she used to be. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes was bloodshot again and her cheeks was red and wet as well.  
She didn't eat anything, only drank some water when she felt that she really needed something. But she was brushing her teeth, taking showers, brushing her hair and changing clothes. She didn't want to be disgusting.  
She knew a lot of people tried to call her, but she didn't answer the phone. When she checked the telephone, it was a lot of messages. From her teacher and strangely.. From Kisshu. She didn't listen to the messages though, she ignored them.

Ichigo was sleeping at the sofa when she heard somebody knocking on the door.

"Ichigo! Let me in!" she already knew who the voice belonged to, Kisshu. "Come on! I know you're in there!"

Ichigo stared at the door, but didn't open it for him. He tried to open the door, but noticed it was locked. Then he tried the windows, but there was curtains in front of them, letting no light inside the house.

"Ichigo! Let me in! Now!" he said and knocked on the window he was standing in front.

Ichigo turned around and put a pillow on her head so she didn't have to hear all that noise..


	5. Shocking News

_"Ichigo, look!"  
Ichigo turned her head and looked at the woman who was standing in front of her. Her hair was red and her eyes was the same colour as Ichigo. It was no one but her mother._

_Ichigo realised where the memory came from.. The time when she and Ichigo was at a picnic, without Ichigo's father._

_"What is it, mom?"  
"Look" Sakura said with a smile and pointed at the sun who was bright red._

_Ichigo looked up at the sky. It was beautiful. The bright, clear and red sun towards the orange and pink sky was beautiful. Also, there was some birds flying in front of the sun and Ichigo just smiled. Everything was so peaceful and beautiful._

_**"Ichigo"**_

_Ichigo turned her head to her mother, she didn't remember her saying her name at that moment. And as she remembered, her mother wasn't saying anything, just looking at the sky._

_**"Ichigo!"**__ this time the voice was a little bit stronger._

_She could feel something touch her cheek and looked around, she didn't remember these things happening at all. And she was dead sure it didn't happen._

_**"Ichigo! Wake up! Please!"**_

_The voice sounded worried, but Ichigo couldn't see a single person except her mother. There was none except from her and her mother. And, Sakura wasn't saying anything. What could it be?  
Suddenly the memory shifted to another one.._

_She was at the beach together with her mother and father. They were laughing at Ichigo that was covered with sand after falling down when she got out of the clear blue and cold water. Her parents didn't understand why she was in the water, and had questioned that a lot. But Ichigo just answered that the water felt nice, and she loved swimming._

_"Ichigo, want a towel?" Shintaro asked him daughter.  
"Yes" Ichigo said as Shintaro gave a cherry red towel to her. "Thanks dad"_

_Ichigo dried herself with the towel and tried to get the most of the sand away. However, she still covered._

_**"Ichigo! Please wake up! You're worrying me!"**_

_It was that voice again.. She looked at her parents, but no one of them were saying anything. They were both laughing, so they had no chance to say anything._

_**"ICHIGO! DON'T DIE!"**_

_Die? Ichigo looked a little worried around. Why in the world would she die? There was nothing here that could kill her. _

_**"NO! DON'T TOUCH HER! ICHIGO!"**_

The voice was so angry and protecting that Ichigo woke up quickly. Suddenly she started coughing and felt awful. Was that what the voice meant by dying?

"W-What happened?" she managed to say.  
"Ah, you're awake!" the voice sound relieved. "We don't really know what happened, actually. But, when I finally managed to break the door, you were laying there, breathing heavily, like you almost couldn't get any air"  
"Kisshu..?" she mumbled.  
"Yes?" he replied.  
"Where am I?" she asked.  
"At the hospital, they don't know what's wrong with you"  
"I feel awful.." Ichigo said.  
"Just try to relax a bit, it all will get better" he said and tried to smile cheerful at her.  
"Hai"

_Months passed, and Kisshu came visiting Ichigo every day. He would sit there for hours and talk to her. Ichigo that seemed to get weaker for every day that passed, enjoyed those moments when they were talking. They now knew what was wrong with Ichigo..  
Cancer.._

Kisshu opened the door to Ichigo's hospital room. He walked in and gently closed the door. Ichigo was sleeping and he quietly went to the chair beside her. He looked at her face, her hair was mostly gone, but he didn't care. She was still beautiful.  
He stroke her cheek and looked at her. She was black under her eyes, which showed that she was really tired and had no energy.

Ichigo after a while opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him.

"I don't feel very well.." she said. "They say that they can't do that much anymore.."

Kisshu's eyes widened as he heard what he feared the most. Tears formed in his eyes, and he took a deep breathe not to start crying.

"Remember to hope and smile, Ichigo" he said with a shaking voice.  
"Hai" Ichigo nodded.

Kisshu took his hands up and with his fingers made himself smile. Ichigo did the same and giggled weakly. Kisshu's smiled dropped while he was looking at her. She looked so weak.

"Hey, Kisshu" Ichigo said.  
"Yeah?" Kisshu asked.  
"I want to see the Christmas tree at Christmas, can I do that?" Ichigo asked.  
"I'll ask your doctor" Kisshu smiled.  
"Thanks.." Ichigo said and closed her eyes.

The second after she was asleep, and as Kisshu promised, he went to ask her doctor. However, he didn't like the idea. But after Kisshu said Ichigo really wished for that. And the doctor after a while finally gave in. But, if her condition got worse he had to promise to go back with her as fast as possible.

When Kisshu told Ichigo about that, she lightened up and for the first time for a long while, he saw a spark in her eyes. He smiled at that and was happy that he could do something for her. He were the one to get her wish granted, to see the Christmas tree.

_Then it was just to wait for Christmas to come.._


	6. What She Wished For

Ichigo was looking out the window from her bed. Outside it was falling, thousands of snowflakes. She turned her head and looked at the Calender. 1 week left to Christmas.  
She wished so badly that she could buy a Christmas present for Kisshu, but her condition was too bad. And if she would be allowed to go out on Christmas, she had to promise to stay inside until then. It sucked, but it was either that, or nothing.  
She had to find another way to give him a Christmas present.

Ichigo slowly sat up in her bed to take the book on the night table beside her bed. The book was _Inkheart by Cornelia Funke_. She really enjoyed reading it and liked the way it was written.  
She looked up at the clock, and it showed it was 3 PM. That meant Kisshu would soon come and visit her. He usually came around 4 PM because school ended so late. Outside it was starting to go dark and she could hear the wind play with the trees.  
Even though she got cancer, she was still positive and tried to make all worried faces around her turn into smiles. There was times when she was walking in the hall and visiting the old people who soon was going to die. When she left the rooms, she always left them with a smile on their lips.

_"She's something special"_ they all said.

When Ichigo's eyelashes got really heavy she lay down in the bed and closed her eyes. The clock was 4 PM, but she was too tired to keep her eyes open for one more minute. Just when she fell asleep Kisshu opened the door and looked inside. As usual, he gently closed the door and quietly went over to her. He looked at the book laying on her chest, and took it up. He read the title and then put it down beside her, on her night table.  
Everything had changed within just a day. Ichigo getting sick, and he broke up with his girlfriend. Only, to tell Ichigo what he felt for her.  
But, after all of that, he lost his confidence, and whenever he tried to say it, the words got stuck on his tongue.

He looked out the window, it was all dark and it was snowing. For long had he been sitting there? He looked at the clock. 6 PM. Visiting time was soon over, and his parents would call him any minute and tell him to come home for dinner. But, for some reason Kisshu really didn't want to leave Ichigo. He had never wanted to leave her, but this time it was worse. He wouldn't even leave her if his own life depended on it. She looked so weak, there where she was laying in the hospital bed.  
He stroke her cheek and then started talking to her.

"You know Ichigo, everyone is worried about you. Please, be strong and fight this. I know, it's a lot for me to wish for, but please. I don't want to lose you, no one wants to. You're the most wonderful of all people I've ever met. You really are something special. Do you know, how many times I've been writing about you in school? Oh, I almost forgot" he said and picked a bunch of drawings up from his bag. "It's from our class, they all miss you and hope for you to get better, Ichigo"

He put the drawings on her night table, and then begun speaking again.

"We all did a drawing for you. To show you how much we care for you. It was my idea. The others wanted to go visit you, but I thought that would be too much for you all at once. It's better if you can have some silence in here, you know. But everyone wish the best for you. And there's soon Christmas! As I promised, I will take you to the Christmas tree! I'm really looking forward to it! Aren't you too?" he said to her.

She was still asleep, she had been sleeping for 2 hours now. A doctor came into the room and told Kisshu his parents was waiting for him outside. He nodded, stroke her cheek and then stood up. He looked at her once more, before he walked out to his parents. He closed the door to her room and then followed his parents home.  
Though, he still had the bad feeling about that something bad would happen, soon.

It was now only one day until Christmas, Ichigo's condition seemed to get better and she was laughing together with Kisshu as he and she spoke.  
She was looking through the drawings at least once every day, and always smiled when she was looking at them. She kept telling him, that her favourite was his drawing. When both was in the snow and covered by snow.

"But I draw terrible" Kisshu said everytime she said.  
"I don't care!" Ichigo smiled at him. "I loved that moment, and it makes me smile"

Kisshu smiled everytime she said that. He thought that, that moment was the happiest one, and she would like if he drew it. They had been so happy, then those fights came, when he had been really angry and yelled at her all the time. He wished so badly he could turn the clock back and make it not happen. But it was impossible, however, Ichigo seemed to forgive him about it. And, that was everything that mattered to him. Her smile and her happiness.

Ichigo yawned and lay down in her bed. Again, she seemed weak. She always did when she was tired. Kisshu looked at her as she close her eyes. She started to get her hair back again, it was a bit curly, but she was still beautiful, no matter what she looked like. He stroke her cheek and she smiled with her eyes closed, looking peaceful. Kisshu smiled and she suddenly fell asleep.

Kisshu was walking through the snow. Unlike last year, they finally got a white Christmas. This time there was a lot of snow, and he was troubled with that. Because then there might be problem with the wheelchair. If it was too much snow, he had to carry her on his back. Because he promised her to let her see the Christmas tree.

He walked in through the door and looked at her.

"Are you ready, Ichigo?" he said cheerful.  
"Hai!" she replied, sitting up.  
"It's too much snow for the wheelchair, so I have to carry you on my back" he said.

He walked up to her and sat down beside her on the bed. She grabbed his shoulders and he helped her up on his back. When he made sure she wasn't going to fall down, he carefully stood up. Ichigo was hugging him around the neck and he started walking. Ichigo looked around in the hall at all of the people while Kisshu was carrying her. They then came down to the entrance and Ichigo looked out. Everything was white.  
But, Kisshu had told her on his way to the hospital and she already had a jacket on. So she didn't have to worry about freezing. Besides, if she would, Kisshu would get her warm again.

Kisshu was walking through the snow and Ichigo was resting her head to his back. She had gotten really tired and they wasn't at the Christmas tree yet, so she decided to close her eyes and relax for a second. They would soon be there anyway. Everyone thought she was just getting worse and worse. But Ichigo could feel it, she was going to fight the cancer and get better. Everything would be good again..

"Ichigo! Look!" Kisshu said and pointed to the Christmas tree.

Ichigo looked up at the Christmas tree. It was bigger than she ever thought it would be, and it was covered with lights and beautiful decorations. It looked wonderful against the midnight blue sky above. The star on the top, was the most beautiful on the tree. It was in the colour of silver and was sparkling. She smiled at the sight and tried to see over Kisshu's head.

"It looks wonderful!" she said.  
"Yes, it really does" Kisshu said with a smile.  
"Best Christmas for a long time" Ichigo said and lay her head down to his back.

As always, Ichigo got tired often, and now she was really tired. However, she really enjoyed going out for Christmas. That was all she had wished for after she got cancer. She closed her eyes and then spoke.

"Thanks, Kisshu.." Ichigo said and fell asleep with a smile on her lips.


	7. Memories

Kisshu was running through the snow. Why did the weather have to be against him today? He really had to hurry, it was more important than anything right now. But the snow was thick and hard to run through. It felt like his legs was going to give up any minute. But he had to hurry, he couldn't let anything stop him. Jump over the fence, run through the streets, even though a car is driving there, never stop for anything. Not even for people in the way. Not for anything..

_Kisshu Ikisatashi?  
This is Ichigo Momomiya's doctor. You probably already recognize my voice.  
I'm sorry, but I got some really bad news right now. We all hope it will go well, but there's not a big chance.  
Ichigo's condition just worsened. It now is really bad. Worse than it ever have been. She might not survive the night.  
We're really sorry to tell you this, but we thought you would like to know. You are allowed to stay with her all night_

Kisshu tripped when jumping over a fence and fell down with his face into the snow. It was freezing cold and his face soon felt near the feeling to paralyzed.  
But, as quickly as he fell, he stood up again. He wasn't going to leave her all alone in there, when there was a big risk that she wasn't going to survive.

While he was running, warming tears streamed down his cheeks. They were burning against his ice cold skin.

_"Ah! Kisshu-kun!" Miwa said when she turned around and looked at him. "This is Ichigo-san, she's the new girl in our class!"  
Kisshu walked up to them and looked at the new classmate, Ichigo. In his eyes, she was cuter than the other girls in the school. She had chocolate brown eyes and red cherry coloured hair. Kisshu was looking at her up and down when she suddenly gasped and he looked at her.  
"Huh? What's wrong?" He asked and looked at her with a confused look.  
"You're the guy on the skateboard! The one with the sparkling eyes and joy of living!" she said, still shocked.  
However, Kisshu laughed, to her surprise and said:  
"First time hearing that one!"_

He kept on running, he ran into a crowd of kids around a snowman, he jumped over a bench and landed on ice that almost caused him to lose him balance. But nothing at all was going to stop him.

It felt like he was running forever, that he would never get there in time. He feared that when he finally was going to get there, she might would be too weak to even keep holding on. But everytime those thoughts escaped into his mind, he scolded himself for thinking such things about Ichigo.  
She was a strong girl, stronger than anyone else he had ever met. Ichigo was able to fight anything that was a problem for her. Living on her own, disappearance of her family. She was just the strongest he had ever met.  
And the only one who stole his heart that fast..

_Kisshu walked out of the classroom, followed by Ichigo and they put their winter clothes on so they wouldn't get cold. Ichigo giggled at him because he looked pretty fat in his winter clothes and he pouted when he noticed what she was giggling at. She quickly apologized, but couldn't help but to giggle.  
When they got out into the snow, he threw her down in the snow. She fell down in the snow, and her face got ice cold. She stood up and he couldn't help but to laugh when he looked at her face, it was covered by snow.  
"You look like a female version of Snow man!" he said while laughing.  
"Hey! That was mean!" Ichigo pouted and pushed him down in the snow.  
He grabbed her arm so he could keep his balance, but the only thing that happened was that she fell down in the snow together with him. Both laughed at each other because their faces was covered with the snow.  
"You look funny!" Ichigo said while laughing.  
"You too!" he said, laughing as well._

He had been so happy when having Ichigo as his friend. Happier than he ever had been before. She was the one who made him look forward to the next morning in school. He was happy as long as he could see her. But, hanging out this much with Ichigo caused a lot of drama between him and his girlfriend.  
She didn't like the attention that Ichigo got from him. She craved that Kisshu was going to stop hanging out with Ichigo and giving her all of his attention instead.  
However, that made it all worse. He thought she had no right at all to decide who he was going to hang out with and do fun things with. He wasn't even allowed to talk to Ichigo. And he really didn't think that was fair.  
Still, all of his anger made him say a lot of mean things to Ichigo..

_"Ichigo!" Kisshu yelled at her. "Hurry up! We're going to be late!"  
Ichigo opened her window and looked out of it.  
"Go ahead without me" she said.  
That she said that, just made him more angry. Why would he go to school without his best friend? Since the second day she was in school they walked together. It was all his girlfriend's fault. If she just wouldn't have caused all of that drama from the beginning.  
"Don't play silly!" Kisshu yelled at her.  
"B-But.." she said, and he could see how she was feeling.  
Her voice that felt so insecure and little made him more annoyed. She never had to be afraid of him. Never had to feel that she wasn't safe around him.  
"But what?" Kisshu asked, annoyed.  
"I-I just don't want to get you late for school over and over again.." Ichigo mumbled.  
"Fine" Kisshu muttered and turned around. "See ya at school"_

Everything had went so fast after that. The same day she broke down in the classroom. And he knew it was his fault. He had been complaining about how lazy she was all week. Never even smiling at her. Just muttering something and making their relationship worse everytime he was like that.  
Nothing had been Ichigo's fault. No one could blame her. The one who was to blame for everything that she had been put through. Was him. And now he didn't mean the disappearance of her family.  
But, that she had been sad again. Feeling unimportant.

_Kisshu looked at Ichigo from his seat. She was trying to read the page in the book that their teacher had asked her to do. But something wasn't right. She was speaking very lowly and her voice was shaking.  
Everyone told her to speak up, so they could hear her. And so did he.  
Suddenly, tears fell down her cheeks, they kept on falling and she sobbed. They all stared in shock at her. No one had imagined she would suddenly cry.  
He felt really guilty, more guilty than he'd ever done before and stood up.  
"Ichigo.." he mumbled and was about to place his hand on her shoulder.  
"No!" Ichigo slapped his hand and ran out of the classroom.  
"ICHIGO!" he yelled after her, and he watched her run down the hallway, he didn't run after, because he knew he wouldn't be able to catch up with her._

He regret that he did that to her. He felt extremely stupid and wished he never had done that. But he couldn't do anything about it, it was too late. However, there was something he could do..

And that was to stay with the one that meant the most to him in the whole world!


	8. Final Goodbye

_"Are you ready, Ichigo?" he said cheerful.  
"Hai!" she replied, sitting up.  
"It's too much snow for the wheelchair, so I have to carry you on my back" he said._

_"Ichigo! Look!" Kisshu said and pointed to the Christmas tree.  
Ichigo looked up at the Christmas tree. It was bigger than she ever thought it would be, and it was covered with lights and beautiful decorations. It looked wonderful against the midnight blue sky above. The star on the top, was the most beautiful on the tree. It was in the colour of silver and was sparkling. She smiled at the sight and tried to see over Kisshu's head.  
"It looks wonderful!" she said.  
"Yes, it really does" Kisshu said with a smile.  
"Best Christmas for a long time" Ichigo said and lay her head down to his back.  
As always, Ichigo got tired often, and now she was really tired. However, she really enjoyed going out for Christmas. That was all she had wished for after she got cancer. She closed her eyes and then spoke.  
"Thanks, Kisshu.." Ichigo said and fell asleep with a smile on her lips._

Everyone around Ichigo had worried looks on their faces. No one told her why they all were worried. But they didn't have to, she already knew.  
Yesterday night her condition got worse, she once again felt really weak. But weaker than ever before. Even though no one said it, Ichigo could feel it. She could feel it in her entire body, she was might not going to survive. But, she wasn't afraid. Not afraid of dying. She was happy, she had Kisshu. Everything was going to be fine.

Kisshu opened the door to her hospital room, rarely, Ichigo was awake and looking at him. He could already see how much her condition had got worse. She was white in her face and under her eyes she was black. Ichigo smiled weakly and told him to sit down.  
Kisshu sat down on the chair, but Ichigo then patted on her bed.

"I don't know Ichigo.." Kisshu said.  
"Please" Ichigo said with a weak smile.

Kisshu did as she wished, and sat down on her bed, looking at her.

_I'm not a perfect person. There's many thing I wish I didn't do. But I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go. That I just want you to know.._

"Hey, Kisshu" Ichigo said.  
"Yeah?" Kisshu looked at her.  
"No one tells me what's wrong, but I already know" she said and saw that he bit his lip.  
"You know?" he said with a really weak voice, showing he was on the edge of crying.  
"Yes, I might not survive this night" she said.

Kisshu broke down crying just when she finished saying the last word. He was shaking terribly and embraced himself. The tears streamed down his cheeks like rivers.  
Ichigo felt terribly bad when she saw him crying because of the risk of her dying.

"Hey, Kisshu" she said once again.  
"W-What?" he stuttered as he looked up at her.

_I've found a reason for me. To change who I used to be. A reason to start over new. And the reason is you.._

With a weak voice, Ichigo started singing. Her favourite song, The Reason. It took a lot of energy, and for every word that she sang, she got weaker.  
Kisshu could see her chest heave in the effort that it was taken for her to sing. He knew she was doing that to calm him down, but he didn't want her to. It was too much for her.  
He took her hand and looked at her.  
"Ichigo, please stop singing" he said with tears in his eyes.

However, Ichigo didn't listen to him. She just wanted him to sing with her. That was the only thing she was craving for. Him singing together with her. He didn't want to, it took too much of her energy. He shook his head, he didn't want to. He didn't want her to die. He didn't want to lose her.  
After a while she quit singing, and started humming on a lullaby and she with a shaky hand wiped his tears away. But it was useless. The tears kept on falling.

"Let's go see the Christmas tree next Christmas, again, Kisshu.." Ichigo said as her face got pale.

Kisshu instantly nodded, watching her close his eyes. Again, tears formed in his eyes and fell down his cheeks.

"Yes.."

Soon her chest stopped heaving. She wasn't breathing anymore. It was all quiet.

"NO! ICHIGO!" Kisshu said as tears fell down his cheeks. "No!"

He looked at her. He didn't get to say it. He would never get to say it. Never get to hear her voice again. Never get to kiss her. Never get to hold her.

"Ichigo.."

* * *

Thank you for reading! You can request a story from me! But just so you know! I'm not good at humor ^^'


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